Being an adult is terrifying. I am terrified. I am terrified because I literally cannot afford to eat, and I cannot afford gas to get from point A to point B.
I work 3 jobs. My rent is $395/mo. My student loans are $240/mo. I do not go out unless I can absolutely afford it, and I don't buy clothing unless I'm positive I can afford it or I ABSOLUTELY need it (as in, my jeans have bit the dust or I need new work shoes). I've been seeing new doctors, and I don't know how to read my statements to know when I've reached my deductible. I had to hold off on paying my deposit for my new apartment. I haven't bought groceries in over a month. You'd think I'd be thinner by now.
I don't know what to do anymore, and I just want to cry. This isn't stressed out crying from anxiety or depression. This is I have $950 to my name, $395 is promised to rent, $246 to student loans, $300 to my security deposit. I have $9 to live off of until my next meager paycheck in two weeks, no gas in my car, nothing to eat in my house. One doctor will be taking $40 out of my account for co-pay, $40 that isn't there and just doesn't exist. I see another doctor next week, one I've needed to see for the past two years, and he's going to charge me $135. I was paid today and am already in the red. I can't ask for more money from family; I've borrowed too much already and resources are thin all around as it is.
I work three jobs, and still can't get ahead. I'm terrified. And very, very tired.
