Ouch. It's not even out yet (as of my writing this at 10:48 p.m.) but Cars 2 already garners a 40% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. In fairness, the critics may be a little harsher on Pixar than they would be on any other studio, but theres a reason for that. Pixar has never let down an audience; they make innovative, refreshing, heartwarming films that don't dumb down situations or humor to still keep their "family-friendly" image. A Bug's Life, Toy Story, Ratatouille, Up, Monsters Inc., Wall-E, etc. all tell their own interesting stories that tread beyond spewing out well-worn kiddy movie fare. But Cars....Cars is it's own problem.
I don't agree with critics a lot of the time...hell, I think Spice World and Speed Racer are great movies. But man....I cringe when I see the trailer for Cars Redeaux. I get snobbishly flustered as to why Pixar's relatively worst film is getting an even worse sequel. And I get downright angry when I go into Tomorrowland and find the world of Tomorrow to be suspiciously occupied by a lot of talking cars and variations of Stitch.
Let me set something straight here. Yes, I'm 24 and I still enjoy cartoons, but that's not what gets me upset and overly pessimistic over this blatent money making vehichle (see what I did there?)...as a self-respecting cinemaphile, I practically live and breathe movies. If I wasn't a biology major, I guarantee you I would have went into film. Pixar is successful not only for creating truly innovative movies that happen to be box office hits, but because they have an integrity towards all audiences (the only other studio, IMO, that comes close or even surpasses is Ghibli, and you can't go a damn interview with Lasseter without him mentioning what good buds he is with Hayao Miyazaki...). Any good true movie fan has Pixar's shorts or the Pixar Story on DVD. So I'm just writing this out as I get frustrated seeing the trailer for Cars 2 for, like, the billionth time. There's only so much I can take.
But Pixar is interesting in the likes of studios: their movies are usually funny and intelligent and quirky in a wonderfully charming way. Take the short "Your Friend the Rat", an extra on the Ratatouille DVD. Beautifully done, it's also one of the funniest pieces of film under 15 minutes I've ever seen. Actually, this paragraph has little to do with the rest of the rant. I'm just saying that short is hilarious. Seriously, I LOL everytime.
But I digress.
Cars was an okay film considering the fact I've already gone through puberty. It's definitely a film that has shown more potential with children because "OMG CARS AND THEY TALK!" My generation had Brave Little Toaster; kids today will have Cars. I get it. It was a fun little movie, although not nearly as thought-provoking or heartfelt as many of Pixar's other films. But then, MOYCHANDISING! Cars bedsheets, stuffed Cars, Cars....cars, etc. It's like the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; anything that can have Cars on it WILL and they WILL sell like hotcakes. Because kids love cars and they love Cars.
In other words: As Joe Morgenstern of the Wall Street Journal put it, "This is something new for Pixar, a movie in which characterization and deep feelings take a back seat to breakneck pace, and something new for Pixar lovers, including me, who may find themselves wondering if Disney's master merchandisers are starting to call the tune for Pixar's master storytellers."
My brother (a bigger Pixar fanatic than I am) and I would like to believe Lasseter and the gang sighed at the success and said "okay, fine. We'll make another Cars film to fund our other projects." For every ambitious film or so ("Okay, it's a story about an old guy, a little boy, and a dog...plus theres a miscarriage and a death in the first 15 minutes") they need something that will appeal to Disney's pockets once in awhile.
And really? Larry the Cable Guy is your headliner. Come on. Not even Pixar can take Cars 2 seriously. It looks like something Dreamworks would have crapped out a few years ago before they started stepping up their game. And not just this cringe-worthy comedian that make it shady; the plot looks too busy and flashy to have any real solid story behind it. It basically undermines everything else Pixar has produced to this point by insulting our intelligence. It's mediocre dribble, and they can do better. And honestly, I think they know it.
It won't be a bad movie; it'll be funny, and it'll be pretty to look at. But come on. Seriously. I'm speechless. Go read those reviews on RT again and tell me I'm wrong to be frustrated. It's not what we've come to expect from Pixar.
So Pixar, I'm giving this to you. It's your free pass, because up until now you've been churning out solid gold storytelling. I still have high hopes for Monsters Inc. 2, and I'm expecting good things to come. And honestly, I'm still probably going to see this movie on DVD. But seriously, cool it with the B-list comedians. Once you hire Dane Cook for a movie, I'm officially out.
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