Gone the Way of the Amity 3: A goodbye letter to Jaws.

I can't believe I forgot today (well, yesterday) was the 2nd of January already. Upon realization, I went into mourning as I remembered a place, an entity, I loved so dearly would be closing it's docks forever.

Jaws (the attraction at Universal Studios) is no more (unless you go to Japan). As unweildy as that sentence was, it's the truth.

Jaws was saved once in 2005 despite the cost of fueling the attraction. Not long after, I began the "theme park" era of my life, and Jaws played a small, but still significant, role in those memories. The times I had ridden as a guest on Captain Jake's boat tours as a child I had been somewhat scared of the shark; as I got older and especially as I became a local I grew to love its dated but endearing demeanor. Word must have gotten out about the fish episode or else Captain Jake and all the other businesses wouldn't be closing up shop. I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye. Whenever I pretend to be in fake shock, I will remember Jaws fondly.

The funny thing about Jaws closing is that actually I've decided to completely, finally, put my theme park life behind me. Most of my friends have moved on -despite the ferverent promises of keeping in touch - and we've all sort of drifted apart. Things change, and that includes places where our realites and disbeliefs are suspended on a daily basis. It's fitting that I can mark this time in my life with such an occasion...even if it is a bit melodramatic (also appropriate). I can almost bookmark that part of my life with the resurrection and final death of a theme park attraction in which a fake shark is shot at multiple times with a grenade launcher. Give me awhile and see if I can work that into some kind of metaphor.

Of course I can't say much else on how it changed my life. I can't say that its closing has affected me the way other attractions closings have (Wonders of Life! NOOOOOO!), and I certainly can't speak for the Skippers who worked there. Most of the Skippers that had the pleasure of my captive attention were excellent, even if they were obvious veterans of the attraction, and for them I say thank you. For funsies I post the below video (made in honor of the re-opening of the attraction in 2005).
I know a lot of the Skippers, past and present, through good and bad, must be looking back on the time they spent there. Unless they didn't know it was closing, then they probably aren't. I mean, it didn't really make national headlines or anything. I digress. Thanks, Skippers, for being funny and putting energy into making the ride enjoyable for guests. I wish you all the best of luck in whatever comes next.

Sadly, Jaws closing also means there will be plenty of ladies who will never be proposed to by their deadbeat boyfriends stuck in the 1990s. The great thing is, though, that if you got the reference in the previous sentence then it's easy to understand the cultural impact of Jaws as an attraction. To say it was no longer relevent I believe is a total lie and I swear if some other Harry Potter attraction or whatever crap Dreamworks is spewing out ends up filling the void that is Amity, I will be so pissed.

I don't really know how to make this blog drop into gear and go anywhere, so I will close on my promised goodbye letter.

Dear Jaws,

When I first heard you were closing down for good I was angry. Then I was sad, and then reasoned that surely more time will be bought, just like for Back to the Future, for fans to say goodbye. Then I graduated and left Florida and kinda forgot and I know that makes me a really bad person and I apologize. Then I also forgot that today was the 2nd and I had this great plan to change my facebook to something fitting and...yeah, that fell through.
I will miss your cheesy wonderfulness, and your hokey yet hilarious queue video. I will always cringe in terror whenever I see a barrel full of water tipping precariously. I will still recite various quotes whenever I see fitting. I will rue the fact that I never got one of those Amity Swim Team t shirts because dammit I love things with details like that. Most of all, on cold, cold days in Illinois, I will fondly remember the warmth of hundreds of dollars of fuel burning my face. I will miss you, Jaws, and I pray your burnt, lacerated,corpse (I mean that in the most loving way possible) will find peace as a relic somewhere public so that others will reflect. Thanks for taking something so silly so seriously, and thanks for bringing me and my friends and family lots of joy. You have become a legend in your own time.

Calling off the Marines,

-Erin